..Toward your destination..

Feeling fine. :) It's so unusual to feel so mentally healthy without it involving manicness bordering on insanity and anxiety. Having said that, I think I've decided I'll be heading back to Flagstaff when my lease here is up. A number of factors really.. I'm not unhappy here in the least (anymore), but this isn't my home, and it never will be. And.. well.. I don't want it to be. I like being from "out west".. I like being laid back. I dislike that I've come to be tense and worked up since being here. I dislike how uptight people here are. I like being from a small town on the way to the Grand Canyon. I like living in a town with a very British feel and a proper town square and decent night life for the size of the place. I miss real weather and family and buildings older than 1920. I miss having a support system and people who will go out of their way to help out when I need it. I like my hippie western British college town. I like Sunday mornings at the diner downtown with coffee and a bagel. I like having to make use of a proper coat in winter.

Unless something drastic happens, requiring me to stay here.. I think I've made up my mind I'd like to return at the end of September. I won't re-new my lease. I'd like to think I'll be able to continue my current job even after we relocate to the new building. Hopefully I can maintain some level of stability from now until October. I want to enjoy my time here, and I do.. but I moved here for very specific reasons, and I feel like that stage in my life is passing. I'm learning what matters to me, what I love and what's important.. who I am and what I want for myself. I feel as though staying here draws me away from those things. As flakey as I am, I'm sure I'll change my mind 30 times between now and then.. but I feel pretty good about this decision. Meanwhile, I really am loving being here. :)