Lovin' is what I got

Alright so that previous post was actually from last night. I just couldn't get it to upload then. Soooo....... today. Haha, spent 8 hours talking to Dustin. Pathetic, right? I'm thinking I may go visit him in July. We can't carry on this way without knowing one way or the other. It's total bullshit. I asked him quite a few things tonight though. Things that I needed to know about. He answered honestly, so I'm now a lot more at ease about it than I was even 48 hours ago.

My dad just called.. yeah, at nearly 11 PM. He was stoned as fuck. Never know what to expect when he calls. I mentioned about a month back that I was seriously considering moving to Florida. Since then, he's asked if I'd be willing to stay down at his place in Phoenix for awhile before I go for good. When he first asked about a week ago, I said yes.. because I thought he was asking if I'd look after his house while he was away on vacation. It became apparent tonight that's not the case. He wants me to come visit. He'll be there. His new wife (I can't say step-mom, it just feels weird) has to go back to Indiana to look after her ill mother. So while she's away, he's asked that I come stay for awhile in the hopes we'll form some kind of bond after nearly 25 years. Oh, I don't know. That would be awkward. I haven't seen my dad for more than about 4 hours once a year since I was 5, and now suddenly he wants me to come spend a week and a half in his house? ...Why? What would we say? Bonding over a bowl? Comparing pipes? His way of inviting me to Easter was to say, "come over.. we've got good food.. and booze, you can get drunk." On Easter? Well, I did.. but it was at my apartment by myself. ;P Whatever man, even Jesus drank wine. <3

The weird thing is, I can be more open with him than with most people. Because we have no father-daughter relationship, I'm not too bothered by what he thinks of me. So I'm honest. It has its advantages.

Anyway, hahah Jane.. oh man. I live for our conversations. I really do. Fuckin priceless.