Give me just a minute to explain my misery

The thing is... music IS my life. It's really the only thing that does make me happy. I'm addicted to it in an unhealthy way, spending hours each day looking for new stuff.. And when I find something I really enjoy... it's like, fulfilling. It's the only thing that gives me a sense of satisfaction and of peace and calm and happiness. And I tried for the past few months to cut back on it.. to at least remove myself from it when I'm out in public. As Emmanuel pointed out, I often isolate myself from people when I slip my headphones on and block out my surroudning. It's my way of coping, it's my intimacy. I'm not denying that he's right, only that since I've started doing that.. I feel emptier. The thing I always looked to for happiness and consolation hasn't been there recently. I don't like it. Sure it's healthier and I've temporarily removed it from its Godlike status in my life, but just?? Sucky. I hate that I have this relationship with it that comes before anyone or anything else.. I hate that it IS sort of my God.. I hate that, I hate even saying that. It's blasphemous, but it's true. And I want to break that, and I've tried.. but it makes me so miserable not having it CONSTANTLY a part of me.

Oh yeah.. I think I have like, inclinations towards being a Jehova's Witness. What the..?? Too many late nights on the internet and an overly-curious mind.