I doubt my reply would be interesting for you to hear

So Friday will be my last day at my current job. I gave my notice today, with slight reservation. The work itself I won't particularly miss as it's fairly monotonous sitting on the phone for eight hours a day listening to people be that irate over $12.95. I hope I'll be able to find something with relative ease. I hope I'm not kidding myself thinking it'll only take maybe a week to line up another job.

I spent the morning taking the bus down to where the new location of my current job will be moving to on Monday. It was unusual. I've lived here 7 months and until today, had no image in mind of anything south of here. It's a good 10 miles from my apartment. I wound up walking along the side of the road, just inches away from screaming traffic in a rundown part of town.. it was mid-morning and I felt.. lost. Not geographically, but spiritually. My emotions are so easily swayed by my surroundings. So finding myself wandering aimlessly around this souless, largely uninhabited area, the only people I encountered looking as hurt and lost and desperate and in need of something.. of anything.. as I often feel, made my mood plummet. It hasn't recovered today and I think it may be a good few days before it really does.

Such a weird frame of mind... slight depression but not in the way it normally sets in. Not in a hopeless desperate way, more.. resigned. Resigned to life and reality and ups and downs and aloneness. I am so often alone. It's frightening how ok with that I am.