And I don't have a decent bone in me....

...What you get is just what you see, yeah.

Hmm.. today's been mixed emotions. I woke up feeling like total crap. For no reason. There never is a reason. By midday I was feeling 100% better. It's one of those things.

I felt bad earlier for not being able to be properly excited when Jane told me M bought his ticket to return to Florida. June 16 is the magic day, not long now. He seems to make her happy. I wonder what they'll do for 2 months. They get to like, play house. (Awwwwwww) how cute. :)

I'm not really sure what I intended this entry to be about.. I'm not in any specific frame of mind. I'm actually kind of bored. I have 349857345 things to be doing, and none of the motivation to get them done. Not tonight.. not right now. I think I'm done for the day. Today was actually really productive, but that was more to keep my mind off of Dustin and my mental state than to actually take care of stuff.

I do that a lot. I clean when I'm feeling down. Well, I didn't clean today, I packed. But yeah.. I tend to clean like some kinda Martha Stewart madwoman when I'm angry or down. Haha.. I said to Dustin earlier, "The 5 years Sean and I were together, my house was always spotless. It's a tell tale sign. If, when we're together, you start to notice the house is always in immaculate condition, start to worry." It's true. The more content I am, the worse my place looks. And it's a fucking shithole right now. I'm gonna keep telling myself that's more to do with moving than with being a slob. Although moving doesn't account for the opened can of beans sitting in the sink. Yeah, they've been there more than a few days now. I'm pretty nasty when I want to be.