Another day, another outlook

Cold and rainy all day. Not the feel of a summer monsoon but more like a pacifc northwest autumn day. Sad dull gray skies that show no sign of clearing. Sitting here at the computer on the high barlike table in the kitchen. Tiny tv in the corner shows CNN but the sound is muted. The door leading out to the back is open. Rain pounds against the deck and occasionally splatters in through the screen door onto the cold kitchen tile. It hasn't let up all day. The sound of occasional booming thunder mixes with the not-too-distant roaring train passing by every few minutes. It's picking up again.. the sound of the rain hitting the ground is outweighing the whirling train whistle.

Such a tiny space I'm in, and so content right this minute. This feels like all I need. Oh I don't need much. And it doesn't feel like Arizona. Staring out the door not more than a foot away from me I pretend a whole city lies just outside. Maybe I'm in some rundown apartment on Clearwater Beach, or maybe in a less-than-desirable part of downtown Seattle. Maybe Manhattan sits only a few subway stops down the line. Wherever it is, in my head there are people nearby. Tiny corner shops and pedestrians walking round attempting to shield themselves from the rain by holding drenched newspapers over their heads. Some place to go.. something to do.. some purpose or final destination. The train whistles again as it pushes past. Even it has its duty.

Unlike myself.


It's not ever going to much matter where I am, because I'm too far inside my own head.