You're my one and only
Me [10:41 PM]: hahah d and i were comparing psychiatrists earlier on the phone and like, meds we've been on
Me [10:41 PM]: hahah uhhh
Me [10:42 PM]: and i told him i did actually remember knowing that we were speaking on the phone.. that a memory i'd TOTALLY forgotten about until 2 days came to mind and i told him what it was.. and he's like OMG YEAH I EVEN REMEMBER YOU SAYIN THAT AT THE TIME
Me [10:42 PM]: which was cool as hell
Me [10:42 PM]: i jsut re-read that, man that made NO sense
Me [10:44 PM]: ok i remembered 2 days ago suddenly that like, i remembered thinking back in like 1998/99 that the two people i was speaking to on the phone then were in area codes 501 and 703, which was odd.. because mine was 602.. so it was like, ascending order
501
602
703
and when he called like either yesterday or the day before, it occured to me he has 501 area code, and i was like.. OMG THAT WAS YOU, THE 501 WAS YOU
Me [10:47 PM]: holy fuck, i am like, gonna move in with DUSTIN this asshole i met ONLINE BACK IN 1998
Me [10:48 PM]: OMG
Me [10:49 PM]: DUSTIN, Dustin.. met him in like the "mental hospital" chatroom or some shit.. like SEVEN YEARS AGO and now love that man more than anything on earth.. but met all those years ago just as two stupid kids with lots of issues
Me [10:52 PM]: and now? i just spent 2 weeks at his house.. and am moving there, and he's so.. i'm so attracted to him, in every way.. you know? we lay there beside each other talking and laughing and.. and we have sex and hold each other and put puzzles together and go for hikes and ride horses.. and i see him in those blue shorts he wears to bed, and this long sleeved shirt of his i LOVE that i brought back with me and wear every day.. and i see him in the morning walking around in that.. and he kisses me goodbye
Me [10:53 PM]: in the mornings before he leaves for work, and i make him tea while he's gone.. and we drive around in the car listening to music with the windows down and we sing and dance along and we smoke pot together and go out for dinner and cuddle up and i held him when he was down the one night.. and we sat out on his porch talking for HOURS.. Dustin..
Me [10:58 PM]: and we went to new orleans and walked around mobile, and stopped at some tiny tiny town in mississippi at an old gas station in this old black town, and it shouldn't have been anything special, but it was.. we stopped for a few minutes and walked around and talked.. and we drove by some of these old gorgeous plantation homes.. and we laid in bed in the hotel in new orleans the one night and i cried, and he held me.. and just.. he's driving to arizona to come get me and for us to drive back to arkansas together.. and he's my family and my
Me [11:00 PM]: home and my heart.. and we make each other smile and we go to wal-mart and hold hands and talk seriously about things, and open up to each other.. and i admit things to him i never have to anyone else. and we sit in his spiderman room and he accidentally lights his trash can on fire and we laugh about it as the room fills with smoke. and he reads me plaques of information on the hiking trails and at the museum.. and we play games in the arcade of the airport.. and just.. omg that's Dustin.. that's the kid from 7 years ago and we'd stalk each other into
Me [11:00 PM]: chat rooms and fuck around in chats and be stupid
Me [11:02 PM]: i just.. it's unreal.. when i stop and think about it.. it's SO UNREAL
we were close back then, but nothing EVER more than friends, and then i disappeared one day, never ever in all my life expecting anything else to come of it. and i imagine he didn't either. we both went on with our lives, finding ourselves in and out of various different situations and with other people, and never really thought anything more of it until just a few months ago. and again this time, neither of us expecting, or even WANTING anything to come of it. we just carried on as friends, talking and joking around online and supporting one another when we were down. and now look at all we've already been through together. i mean, that only just touches on our two weeks together. i can't believe how much life has changed. it's so unrecognizeable from only a month ago.
i can't believe it's HIM. after ALL THESE YEARS. it's this person i never could've imagined anything would've come from. we never tried to make it happen, in fact even now we're both still trying to talk ourselves OUT of it. and it's him. we've both grown up these past 6 years, but it's like.. it's like we were never apart. we're so much alike it's scary. it's like we've always grown up together. it's so weird to be separated from someone for this length of time, find them again, and discover it was always them. that you had them 7 years ago and failed to realize it then, and very nearly failed to realize it this time around too. we have this connection that i've never known before. i look at him and i just smile. it's so simple. it's so pure. there's no having to reason with myself or justify being with him. there's no reward or added benefit of being with him. we're not together because there's some underlying agenda or something we hope to gain from the other, it's just.. total contentment. it's being around him and feeling like it should've always been this way, like i've found the perfect fit. all of this happiness from us meeting when we were just kids.. just stupid friends who liked to irritate other people in chatrooms. from THAT seven years ago, came this.
i'm MOVING TO ARKANSAS to live with DUSTIN.
i can't wait to see him again. 2 months and he'll be here to pick me up. i don't even care where we are, as long as we're together. i don't care if it's arizona or arkansas or fuckin like.. you know, some place that really sucks. i don't care. i just want him to be here already. i want to run and jump into his arms as he catches me (i love when he does that. it kinda sucks when i run up and jump, and he's not prepared, hahah jf) and i want to be in the car with him and talk and laugh and listen to music and have marley on my lap with her head out the window, and dustin's hand on my knee as it always is. and we look over at each other and smile and get all giddy like little kids. AHHHHHHHHH. I LOVE THE IDIOT FROM THE INTERNET. I honestly can not imagine it could EVER be better than this, that anyone has it better than what we have. He's my best friend on earth. And he's so freaking cute and I want to hug him all the time and jump him.. and just.. i just look at him and am overcome with joy. we both constantly catch ourselves looking at the other.
i love just.. seeing him walk around the house. his house? our house? the house. i can't believe it's him. and i can't believe it's this good. i figured we'd probably get along well, but i could've NEVER EVER imagined it'd be like this. i thought at best we'd get along pretty well, have fun, say goodbye, and then see each other again whenever we both had time. i truly never could've imagined we'd have this much fun but also be able to be totally open and loving and honest with each other as well. ok i've rambled on forever now.. and still i feel like i could keep talking.
the beach, road trips, gas stations, mcdonald's, side trip to new orleans, mobile & that whole night, his house, pinnacle, the old mill, the short pier, mississippi, the giant penis, my suitcase, hotel staff calls at 10:59 am, mexican restaurants, margaritas, wal-mart, running after the 'smitty' hat, taco fried chicken, 'thank you', trippin, pretzels in the trunk, horseback riding, the pond, 'speak no evil', first night going to bed, meeting his dad, catfish houses, tics, soul to squeeze, the sunset in alabama on the bridge, beer castles, fireworks, his porch, cooking dinner, our 'honeymoon', green hangers, family guy, 'does he have a bong?', 1998 address book, the deli, driving over the causeway, 'sun is shining', needing a pillow, fireworks, houses downtown, the market, fireflies, the woods, csi black and white tv, van morrison, coasters, upside down wallpaper, missing the exit, 'good morninggg', wind chimes, Feel Good Inc., Mema's, nearly missing my flight.. oh man.. so many other things i know i'm already forgetting. i can't believe all of that was in 2 weeks. honestly, a lifetime of memories in 2 weeks with him.
alright, i'm seriously going now. dude, i am.
Me [10:41 PM]: hahah uhhh
Me [10:42 PM]: and i told him i did actually remember knowing that we were speaking on the phone.. that a memory i'd TOTALLY forgotten about until 2 days came to mind and i told him what it was.. and he's like OMG YEAH I EVEN REMEMBER YOU SAYIN THAT AT THE TIME
Me [10:42 PM]: which was cool as hell
Me [10:42 PM]: i jsut re-read that, man that made NO sense
Me [10:44 PM]: ok i remembered 2 days ago suddenly that like, i remembered thinking back in like 1998/99 that the two people i was speaking to on the phone then were in area codes 501 and 703, which was odd.. because mine was 602.. so it was like, ascending order
501
602
703
and when he called like either yesterday or the day before, it occured to me he has 501 area code, and i was like.. OMG THAT WAS YOU, THE 501 WAS YOU
Me [10:47 PM]: holy fuck, i am like, gonna move in with DUSTIN this asshole i met ONLINE BACK IN 1998
Me [10:48 PM]: OMG
Me [10:49 PM]: DUSTIN, Dustin.. met him in like the "mental hospital" chatroom or some shit.. like SEVEN YEARS AGO and now love that man more than anything on earth.. but met all those years ago just as two stupid kids with lots of issues
Me [10:52 PM]: and now? i just spent 2 weeks at his house.. and am moving there, and he's so.. i'm so attracted to him, in every way.. you know? we lay there beside each other talking and laughing and.. and we have sex and hold each other and put puzzles together and go for hikes and ride horses.. and i see him in those blue shorts he wears to bed, and this long sleeved shirt of his i LOVE that i brought back with me and wear every day.. and i see him in the morning walking around in that.. and he kisses me goodbye
Me [10:53 PM]: in the mornings before he leaves for work, and i make him tea while he's gone.. and we drive around in the car listening to music with the windows down and we sing and dance along and we smoke pot together and go out for dinner and cuddle up and i held him when he was down the one night.. and we sat out on his porch talking for HOURS.. Dustin..
Me [10:58 PM]: and we went to new orleans and walked around mobile, and stopped at some tiny tiny town in mississippi at an old gas station in this old black town, and it shouldn't have been anything special, but it was.. we stopped for a few minutes and walked around and talked.. and we drove by some of these old gorgeous plantation homes.. and we laid in bed in the hotel in new orleans the one night and i cried, and he held me.. and just.. he's driving to arizona to come get me and for us to drive back to arkansas together.. and he's my family and my
Me [11:00 PM]: home and my heart.. and we make each other smile and we go to wal-mart and hold hands and talk seriously about things, and open up to each other.. and i admit things to him i never have to anyone else. and we sit in his spiderman room and he accidentally lights his trash can on fire and we laugh about it as the room fills with smoke. and he reads me plaques of information on the hiking trails and at the museum.. and we play games in the arcade of the airport.. and just.. omg that's Dustin.. that's the kid from 7 years ago and we'd stalk each other into
Me [11:00 PM]: chat rooms and fuck around in chats and be stupid
Me [11:02 PM]: i just.. it's unreal.. when i stop and think about it.. it's SO UNREAL
we were close back then, but nothing EVER more than friends, and then i disappeared one day, never ever in all my life expecting anything else to come of it. and i imagine he didn't either. we both went on with our lives, finding ourselves in and out of various different situations and with other people, and never really thought anything more of it until just a few months ago. and again this time, neither of us expecting, or even WANTING anything to come of it. we just carried on as friends, talking and joking around online and supporting one another when we were down. and now look at all we've already been through together. i mean, that only just touches on our two weeks together. i can't believe how much life has changed. it's so unrecognizeable from only a month ago.
i can't believe it's HIM. after ALL THESE YEARS. it's this person i never could've imagined anything would've come from. we never tried to make it happen, in fact even now we're both still trying to talk ourselves OUT of it. and it's him. we've both grown up these past 6 years, but it's like.. it's like we were never apart. we're so much alike it's scary. it's like we've always grown up together. it's so weird to be separated from someone for this length of time, find them again, and discover it was always them. that you had them 7 years ago and failed to realize it then, and very nearly failed to realize it this time around too. we have this connection that i've never known before. i look at him and i just smile. it's so simple. it's so pure. there's no having to reason with myself or justify being with him. there's no reward or added benefit of being with him. we're not together because there's some underlying agenda or something we hope to gain from the other, it's just.. total contentment. it's being around him and feeling like it should've always been this way, like i've found the perfect fit. all of this happiness from us meeting when we were just kids.. just stupid friends who liked to irritate other people in chatrooms. from THAT seven years ago, came this.
i'm MOVING TO ARKANSAS to live with DUSTIN.
i can't wait to see him again. 2 months and he'll be here to pick me up. i don't even care where we are, as long as we're together. i don't care if it's arizona or arkansas or fuckin like.. you know, some place that really sucks. i don't care. i just want him to be here already. i want to run and jump into his arms as he catches me (i love when he does that. it kinda sucks when i run up and jump, and he's not prepared, hahah jf) and i want to be in the car with him and talk and laugh and listen to music and have marley on my lap with her head out the window, and dustin's hand on my knee as it always is. and we look over at each other and smile and get all giddy like little kids. AHHHHHHHHH. I LOVE THE IDIOT FROM THE INTERNET. I honestly can not imagine it could EVER be better than this, that anyone has it better than what we have. He's my best friend on earth. And he's so freaking cute and I want to hug him all the time and jump him.. and just.. i just look at him and am overcome with joy. we both constantly catch ourselves looking at the other.
i love just.. seeing him walk around the house. his house? our house? the house. i can't believe it's him. and i can't believe it's this good. i figured we'd probably get along well, but i could've NEVER EVER imagined it'd be like this. i thought at best we'd get along pretty well, have fun, say goodbye, and then see each other again whenever we both had time. i truly never could've imagined we'd have this much fun but also be able to be totally open and loving and honest with each other as well. ok i've rambled on forever now.. and still i feel like i could keep talking.
the beach, road trips, gas stations, mcdonald's, side trip to new orleans, mobile & that whole night, his house, pinnacle, the old mill, the short pier, mississippi, the giant penis, my suitcase, hotel staff calls at 10:59 am, mexican restaurants, margaritas, wal-mart, running after the 'smitty' hat, taco fried chicken, 'thank you', trippin, pretzels in the trunk, horseback riding, the pond, 'speak no evil', first night going to bed, meeting his dad, catfish houses, tics, soul to squeeze, the sunset in alabama on the bridge, beer castles, fireworks, his porch, cooking dinner, our 'honeymoon', green hangers, family guy, 'does he have a bong?', 1998 address book, the deli, driving over the causeway, 'sun is shining', needing a pillow, fireworks, houses downtown, the market, fireflies, the woods, csi black and white tv, van morrison, coasters, upside down wallpaper, missing the exit, 'good morninggg', wind chimes, Feel Good Inc., Mema's, nearly missing my flight.. oh man.. so many other things i know i'm already forgetting. i can't believe all of that was in 2 weeks. honestly, a lifetime of memories in 2 weeks with him.
alright, i'm seriously going now. dude, i am.
posted by Heather at 12:25 AM
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