The music sounds better with you
Alright.. I need to settle down. I get myself all worked up and doubting everything not because things aren't going well with Dustin whenever we talk, just the opposite. I start doubting everything with him when we HAVEN'T gotten to speak much. As soon as we talk, I'm immediately reassured that everything's right and good.
Any doubts or worries I have seemed to be coming from us not being together, and knowing it's still a few days until we are again. As soon as it sinks in that I really am gonna get to see him on Saturday, I'm so completely overcome with joy. Just.. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! It's the same rush of excitement and happiness that I get just before I go to see Jane. It's like.. just.. total fun happy idiotic good times. But then obviously also like, love that man and just.. just LOVE him. It's not the anticipation of getting to see him that I'm enjoying.. that part actually sucks. What makes me happy is knowing I'm gonna be with him again in like.. 90 hours. I'LL BE SEEING HIM AGAIN SOON!!!!!!
Got to talk to him tonight.. and it was just great. We were both really.. giddy and stupid and faggy and excited. Talked about all sorts of things.. surprisingly not very much about seeing each other again in a few days. Neither of us are big on the details. We're just like, "hahah cool! see you saturday" not like.. what will we do when we're together again.. where will we meet.. how will it go? More just like, "CANNOT FREAKIN WAIT!!!!!!!!".. and then a minute later like, "hahah have now tried 17 of 31 flavors" And that's totally how I'd prefer it to be.
Oh man.. I need to shower before I head to bed. This stinch only comes from successive days of not bathing. I'm waiting for the dryer to sound before I go hose myself off and then head to bed. Gotta get up early tomorrow.. it's gonna be a long day. Have to be IN phoenix by 8:30 AM (that means leaving here no later than 6:15)... >:-O The good thing is.. I'll be busy all day tomorrow, and by this time tomorrow night.. I'll be able to say, "I'll see Dustin in 2 days." I'm not counting Saturday.. cos I'll be getting up at like 4AM Saturday, driving all day, and then be in Amarillo that night with him. OMG. Awww.. <3
I'm so gay and like, "rainbowy" tonight ::embarrassment:: And to think just like.. 5 weeks ago we'd never met and hadn't really admitted how we felt for one another. And now there are days we border on being like.. Jane and M'ish. Like magic rainbows and bunnies and lollipops. <3 It really feels like it's only just starting. We weren't able to start off being all open and silly and lovey with each other.. it's only now after we know each other better and are more comfortable that we're able to be all like, giddy in love. It's weird.. it's almost like it gets more that way every day.
I always thought it'd start out that way and then kinda... I dunno.. fade. Like it did with Sean. It was all, "wowowow butterflies and faeries" in the beginning.. but then the more we got to know each other.. the less I had that feeling until eventually it was gone after only about.. 2 months. This time it's reversed. It's like.. I couldn't do that in the beginning, but the more time we spend around one another and the more I get to know him, the more I'm just like.. awww man disney balloons sappy gayness. It turns out I am capable of all of that.. it just takes me a little longer to get there :-D
Jane sees M again for 2 whole months in like 2 weeks. That's awesome. She's (jokingly?) mentioned the possibility of marriage this summer while he's there. I wonder if that'll happen? If it does.. man like, cool. D and I would drive down to visit and attend. I'd LOVE that. I miss it there a LOT. Man.. I miss Jane a hell of a lot. Even though I'm genuinely happy for the first time in my life, I still think about going back to see Jane on a daily basis. Half of me completely expects to be back in Florida on a more permanent basis within the next 6 months. I just.. I love it there. I love she and I.
In reality I couldn't be there without Dustin and be happy.. I'd spend all my time there missing him and wishing he were there or that I was back in Arkansas with him.. but it doesn't stop me enjoying the idea of being back on the beach w/ bb. Aww.. I love her. I hope she knows. :)
That post was WAY longer than I intended for it to be. Ok.. shower and laundry time. How tf is it 11:35 already? Damn.. I'm gonna wind up gettin like.. 4 hours of sleep.
Any doubts or worries I have seemed to be coming from us not being together, and knowing it's still a few days until we are again. As soon as it sinks in that I really am gonna get to see him on Saturday, I'm so completely overcome with joy. Just.. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! It's the same rush of excitement and happiness that I get just before I go to see Jane. It's like.. just.. total fun happy idiotic good times. But then obviously also like, love that man and just.. just LOVE him. It's not the anticipation of getting to see him that I'm enjoying.. that part actually sucks. What makes me happy is knowing I'm gonna be with him again in like.. 90 hours. I'LL BE SEEING HIM AGAIN SOON!!!!!!
Got to talk to him tonight.. and it was just great. We were both really.. giddy and stupid and faggy and excited. Talked about all sorts of things.. surprisingly not very much about seeing each other again in a few days. Neither of us are big on the details. We're just like, "hahah cool! see you saturday" not like.. what will we do when we're together again.. where will we meet.. how will it go? More just like, "CANNOT FREAKIN WAIT!!!!!!!!".. and then a minute later like, "hahah have now tried 17 of 31 flavors" And that's totally how I'd prefer it to be.
Oh man.. I need to shower before I head to bed. This stinch only comes from successive days of not bathing. I'm waiting for the dryer to sound before I go hose myself off and then head to bed. Gotta get up early tomorrow.. it's gonna be a long day. Have to be IN phoenix by 8:30 AM (that means leaving here no later than 6:15)... >:-O The good thing is.. I'll be busy all day tomorrow, and by this time tomorrow night.. I'll be able to say, "I'll see Dustin in 2 days." I'm not counting Saturday.. cos I'll be getting up at like 4AM Saturday, driving all day, and then be in Amarillo that night with him. OMG. Awww.. <3
I'm so gay and like, "rainbowy" tonight ::embarrassment:: And to think just like.. 5 weeks ago we'd never met and hadn't really admitted how we felt for one another. And now there are days we border on being like.. Jane and M'ish. Like magic rainbows and bunnies and lollipops. <3 It really feels like it's only just starting. We weren't able to start off being all open and silly and lovey with each other.. it's only now after we know each other better and are more comfortable that we're able to be all like, giddy in love. It's weird.. it's almost like it gets more that way every day.
I always thought it'd start out that way and then kinda... I dunno.. fade. Like it did with Sean. It was all, "wowowow butterflies and faeries" in the beginning.. but then the more we got to know each other.. the less I had that feeling until eventually it was gone after only about.. 2 months. This time it's reversed. It's like.. I couldn't do that in the beginning, but the more time we spend around one another and the more I get to know him, the more I'm just like.. awww man disney balloons sappy gayness. It turns out I am capable of all of that.. it just takes me a little longer to get there :-D
Jane sees M again for 2 whole months in like 2 weeks. That's awesome. She's (jokingly?) mentioned the possibility of marriage this summer while he's there. I wonder if that'll happen? If it does.. man like, cool. D and I would drive down to visit and attend. I'd LOVE that. I miss it there a LOT. Man.. I miss Jane a hell of a lot. Even though I'm genuinely happy for the first time in my life, I still think about going back to see Jane on a daily basis. Half of me completely expects to be back in Florida on a more permanent basis within the next 6 months. I just.. I love it there. I love she and I.
In reality I couldn't be there without Dustin and be happy.. I'd spend all my time there missing him and wishing he were there or that I was back in Arkansas with him.. but it doesn't stop me enjoying the idea of being back on the beach w/ bb. Aww.. I love her. I hope she knows. :)
That post was WAY longer than I intended for it to be. Ok.. shower and laundry time. How tf is it 11:35 already? Damn.. I'm gonna wind up gettin like.. 4 hours of sleep.
posted by Heather at 11:37 PM
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