I don't know.. just.. ugh

Sick of dealing with people and their stupid bullshit. I'm tired and don't have energy for this. No energy the past 4 days or so and just wanna sleep all day and feel like crap constantly and sick of pain from SPD and sick of Sean moaning and of my grandpa and Holly and just.. everyone. Well ok, not Dave.. but everyone else is pissing me off.

3 Months.. AHHHHHHHHHHHH poop

3 calendar months from today is my estimated due date. Ok.. so I'm still actually 13 weeks away (27 weeks tomorrow) but man. Time has FLOWN the past 6 weeks or so. It seems like I just had the 20 week ultrasound like... 4 days ago???? I guess I was focused on Dave's visit and that flew past too. Aww.. I miss him. Right now we're planning on him coming back in October but only for a week. I KNOW that is gonna go too quick. I'll blink and he'll have come and gone. That's gonna be weird.. the next time I see him I'll have a child.. I'll be someone's MOM.?????? Wow. I think it's starting to sink in finally that I'm going to have a baby. I've had all this time to digest it, but it only starts feeling real as it gets nearer. All these things I've put off doing until Sean could be here to help.. and now I only have a few months left and it's stressful thinking of what needs to be done before the baby arrives.

Set the date for my baby shower at July 21. I'm apparently procrastinating too much for some peoples' liking so family have started to get on my back about registering and getting names and addresses compiled to send out invitations and stuff. It's probably good they're pushing me.. I don't tend to feel like the baby needs everything ready and prepared before it arrives home. Like.. as long as it has a place to sleep, some blankets, diapers, and a breast to feed on. Haha.. those are really the only necessities and probably all I'd have ready.

Been speaking to Nikki in e-mail again the past few days. I hadn't heard from her in like 2 years.. so I told her I was pregnant and explained the situation. Surprisingly she was really supportive. She's been fairly judgemental in the past, but I guess they've had their own things happen recently. They moved to a smalllllllllllll town about 3 hours from here. I'm glad they finally moved out of Phoenix, and actually.. it's nice thinking that she's not far away here in Northern Arizona too instead of back in Missouri like they'd been planning. I'm probably wrong thinking this, but it kinda seems like we're both ready to forget shit from the past and actually be somewhat close again? And I guess we have more in common now that I have a baby on the way. Actually.. I'm due the day before her son turns 2. That'd be weird if our kids wound up with the same birthday.

Hmm.. think that's it for now.

Haha

Norraa [9:48 AM]: do you not think my placenta looks a bit like elvis?
seaninterpop [9:48 AM]: it's been a while since a woman asked me that question
seaninterpop [9:49 AM]: i think it looks like a smurf

Errr.. wth???

Ok so.. why do I bother clicking the "remember me" box on this site every time when I log in, when it doesn't make a difference and I still have to re-log in?? Gay.

Anyway.. tired today. Haven't had a decent night's sleep in 2 days.. Have woken up screaming the past 2 mornings. Yesterday it was due to a charlie horse in my left leg.. this morning (at 5:30 i might add) it was because of a nightmare about my psycho grandpa.

Haven't been sleeping that good since Dave left either. And Amelia seems to wait allllll day until I come in to go to bed before she starts licking her asshole loudly cuddled up right next to me on the pillow. As pleasant of a sound as it is.. I could use a break from it just for a night or two.

Gone too fast

Haven't updated in awhile.. don't know what my problem is.

Dave visited.. it went better than I would've thought possible?? Like I knew we'd have stuff to talk about, but I didn't think our personalities would actually match up that well. It's not like, wowowow magical.. it's more like.. we've always been together and it's comfortable and right. Doesn't feel new or strange at all. I don't have that bad dirty awkward feeling when we're driving around together in the car as though I know it's not right. I just feel good and safe around him and we have fun doing nothing at all. <3 Aww.. miss him to bits and already looking forward to when he can come back, which I think will be sometime in October.

The pregnancy is progressing without any real complications. I passed out the other night and that was scary as hell, but it's also something fairly common. Think I'll call the doctor Monday and see what she says. I'm just over 24 weeks, although at my last visit on Tuesday, I was measuring big at 25. She said if I measured any bigger next time, they'd do an ultrasound just to check everything was ok. Also, my blood pressure was pretty high but they're thinking it's situational and hopefully not the onset of gestational diabetes, which I'll have bloodwork done to test for in mid-June if she's not concerned about me fainting and wanting to check sooner. Wound up with a few bruises from hitting the ground and a wooden toy chest on my way down. :-\ Still, it could've been much more serious. Just hope it doesn't happen again, because it's fucking scary suddenly waking up on the ground and not really remembering what happened to cause you to get there.

Sean will be arriving here May 28th. He leaves the UK on the 25th to go to North Carolina for a race, then will come here. At some point I need to sit down and really talk to him about how things with Dave are. He knows we're together, but I don't think he quite gets that like.. we're gonna seriously try to be together if things continue to go well. Haha.. of course that could change when Dave tells his mom I'm pregnant. She might be completely adament (sp?) that we're not together.. and.. I don't know if that would change his mind about things. He said it wouldn't, but that'd be a hard situation to be in. Don't know how long it'll work out with Sean being here..?? He's actually been better the past 2 days, especially when I told him I'd fainted and got pretty bruised up from it. It's the first time he's actually taken an interest or seemed concerned about anything regarding the pregnancy. Maybe now he's about to be here, it seems more real. Anyway, it's taken him long enough.